Welcome to The Midwest Chronicles (TMC). These are the accounts of the exploits of the Nebraska Cricket Club in the 2009 season. To spice up what would otherwise be a routine match report of runs scored, wickets taken, and catches snaffled (or spilled) these posts are being written with a tongue firmly in cheek but with the facts completely in the true. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the meandering show.
Here's a complete guide to the cast of characters and their nicknames. The cast will be updated as players are added or dropped or nicknames changed as the season progresses.A good beginning makes a good end.
-Louis L'Amour
Two batsmen, in completely contrasting styles, propped up the NCC innings
suspension bridge-style. Between them they played 99 balls, scored 124 runs, with 11 fours and 6 sixes. While they were at the crease 190 runs (out of 206) were scored. Yet, lumping Thin Man's contribution with Bob Loblaw only tells part of the tale. Here is the rest of it.
Last year, as NCC romped through to the best record in the league-phase of the CLIA, they did so without beating Elite Cricket Club even once. Naturally, in the finals, ECC resisted all temptations to cede the advantage and took home the trophy, leaving NCC to lick its wounds. Like the seminal Ashes series of 2005, senior citizens who had contemplated retirement cancenled their plans to have one more tilt at the CLIA windmill this season. (So, thanks for
nothing, ECC. All you did was stunt the growth of the NCC by preventing younger players from coming through).
Week 2 of the 2009 season featured a highly anticipated and eagerly awaited clash with ECC. Little Boy lost the toss for the second game in a row. Unlike
the previous match, in this case he did not get away with it as NCC was asked to bat first.
Like a drunken man ordering a flurry of drinks before the bar closes for the night, Captain Ozone rung in changes. The Shadow, Little Boy, and Kingsize Dada made way for Doctor Kamikaze (Francis), Mind It (Quintus), and Gunmaster G9 (Gautham).
Belonging to the
Shahid Afridi school of batting (see ball, thwack ball) has worked well for Thin Man (Bala) and this day was no exception. The very first over featured two huge sixes and the plundering began in full earnest. Setting fielders at long-on and long-off is like waving a red flag at this bull of a man (metaphorically speaking). Soon the fielders began chasing the ball around the outfield while the bowlers developed sprained necks from twisting their heads backwards as soon as the ball was hit. Unlike Boom-Boom Afridi, Thin Man does not get carried away with his hitting prowess. Of course, getting tired easily is also conducive to forcing a batsman to take singles while he waits for his second wind. And Thin Man did just that. (Amit) Tasmanian Devil's single focus was simple - take singles to keep Thin Man on strike and take two's when TM hits the ball. Alas, after an opening partnership of nearly 30 runs to which he contributed a solitary single, TD went on the backfoot and paid the price, out LBW. In walked Doctor Kamikaze (Francis).
As Kamikaze walked to the crease, all activity ceased along the outskirts of Omaha. The first ball of Kamikaze's innings is always the most gut-wrenching one. A digression here will probably explain why it is so. Virender Sehwag is famous for racing away from zero and reaching landmarks with big hits, usually for six. The reason for that, he says, is that he is nervous and tries to dispel the nerves by hitting out. Well, Kamikaze probably ascribes to the same school of thought, but we seriously doubt it. He is famous around the world (inside his head) for hitting the first ball be faces as hard as he can, most probably because the two working neurons in his brain have not yet finished processing the arduous task of making sure he is indeed wearing a box (true story: he has forgotten to wear one on multiple occasions).
Shashank, the ECC captain for the uninformed, came racing in to bowl, visions of first-ball dismissals and pending hat-tricks in mind. Kamikaze calmly flicked the the ball away for a single and had a big grin on his face as he turned to the audience once he reached the non-striker's end. My, my, wonders never cease.
Keeping Thin Man warm and rotating the strike like a seasoned veteran, Kamikaze made sure the scoring rate did not dip. So much so that he scored 29 in 21 balls. In the same duration, Thin Man had blazed past his 50 and was beginning to sight that elusive century. Numbers do not always tell the tale but in this case they vividly do. Thin Man got out off the first ball of the 15th over, having already scored 101 runs. At that point the score was 143 for 2 and Ozone was having dreams of crossing the 300 run mark in 30 overs. A much-needed break (for ECC) was taken.
While Thin Man was batting, all superstitions were rigidly enforced by the supporters. No one was allowed to move from his or her spot, including Bhishma, who had the misfortune of having moved to the bench just as the hitting spree began. Though he begged to be spared from sitting in the hot sun, he wasn't allowed to budge even an inch. Some relief, in the form of a duffel bag was very thoughtfully provided by Little Boy. What did you expect - an umbrella?!
The superstitions worked as Thin Man's 101 was scored off just 48 balls, with 9 fours and 6 sixes. Thundering runs do not come much louder than this.
While we wait for the NCC innings to resume, here are a few fun facts to tide you over.
- A kiss lasting one minute can burn more than 30 calories.
- Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
- Right handed people live nine years longer than left-handed people.
- Sobering thought: There are six million parts in the Boeing 747-400.
- The shortest river in the world is D River in Oregon. (I was there yesterday. *sigh*)
In the first game of the season, NCC's middle order collapsed over a span of 9 overs. Showing that they learn from their mistakes, in the second match they did it in just 4 overs. From 143 for 1 to 159 for 7 is the stuff of which captain's nightmares are made. And NCC managed just that. Here's the blow-by-blow detail of how it happened.
We have already heard of Thin Man's tired attempt to clear midwicket. That was the second blow.
Kamikaze finally managed to swing for the fences and a high spiraling catch was taken about 10 yards away from him at point. Three down.
Chikna (Jatin) was caught in two minds - his and the captain's - and tamely top-edged a catch to deep midwicket, a cross between the sixer he wanted to hit and the consolidation shot that his captain urged of him. Four down.
Energizer Bunny (JJ) continued with his quest to give the off-side players catching practice by tamely blocking a ball back to the cover fielder. Five down.
Bhishma (Bhaskar) walked in with a new bat in hand. He still hit 2 sixes off the first two balls he faced but looked totally out of sorts at the crease, repeatedly going down on his knees to sweep the ball and not connecting. Finally on his 6th attempt he missed completely and was bowled round his legs. Six down.
Ozone lived up to his name (O3) playing 3 balls and scoring 0 runs, tamely testing mid-wickets catching prowess. Pretty good was the final verdict. Seven down 159 on the board, and 12 overs still to go.
Gunmaster G9 and Bob Loblaw had the onerous task of batting out 12 overs with just three wickets left. Even in the nets the players do not normally get such an extended session, and the duo feasted on the opportunity. Ignoring the scoreboard and eschewing all risks, Bob Loblaw set anchor - a role that he perfected to an art form in the PCA league, where he was the only batsman to score over 200 runs at a strike rate less than 100 (in fact, a strike rate of 66 was his proud accomplishment). G9 was not as quiet, looking to bash the ball if it was in his zone and defending it if it wasn't. The pair slowly raised about 30 odd runs in 8 overs before G9 got out looking to increase the scoring rate. An innings of 18 runs in 22 balls with 2 fours was his invaluable contribution to the cause.
King Warney tried to rein himself in for a couple of overs but then got carried away and lost his wicket to a cross-batted slog, not his strongest suit.
The last ball of the 29th over yielded the last nail in the coffin as Bob, in a thinly concealed attempt to farm the strike was stumped running down the wicket without connecting with the ball. As in the previous match, the #11 batsman, this time it was Mind It, remained not out on a spectacular 0 off 0 balls.
Bob Loblaw scored a ponderous 23 runs in 41 balls, with two fours. Contrast this with Thin Man whose 48 balls produced 101 runs. However, each man was equal to the task and the situation of the innings at that time. In the first match, Bob's goal was to take the team's score past 100 and he did, ensuring a tight 16 run victory. In this one he escorted the score from 150-odd to 206, a fighting total, and probably enough to ensure victory if he bowlers could hold it together.
The ECC openers began in a cautious manner, seeing off Energizer's prodigious outswing before setting the blueprint for the rest of the innings in Bhishma's next over. Two bad balls - two sixes, four good balls - four dots. Thumping the ball when width was offered and defending when it was not, the openers calmly played out the first 10 overs, reaching 60-plus without a fuss. Ozone rotated through his bowlers - Energizer holding one end up while Warney and Chikna continued from where Bhishma left off. The runs came in small spruts rather than extravagant bursts and neither team felt it was out of it at the 10 over stage. At which point, Ozone turned to TD and Kamikaze.
TD bowls medium-paced straight balls that were wobbling around enough to keep the batsmen and the keeper on the edge. Kamikaze is a different bird completely. He has one motto when he bowls - "if the batsman misses, he hits. If the batsman hits, he misses". Confused? Don't be. It makes sense only to Kamikaze's warped mind. Nevertheless, the very first ball he bowled to Ganesh was a short-hopper that deserved to be deposited in the next County and the opener tried really hard. However, he only managed to underedge it for Bob to pull off a smart catch going low to grab it. While the umpire did not deem that the batsman had edged it, in a magnanimous gesture, Ganesh walked. Kudos are due to him for it.
Once the breach was made, NCC did not need another invitation, least of all Kamikaze. If there is anything free on offer, Kamikaze is the first in line to clean up and with wickets it is no exception. To quote Ravi Shastri, wickets fell at regular intervals as the asking rate rose. TD joined Kamikaze in the festive spirit of the moment and between the two of them they snared 7 wickets, giving away 71 runs in 12 overs.
Gunmaster came back in the death and bowled at a stunning pace, repeatedly thudding the 25-plus over old ball into the distant keeper's gloves. On debut in the CLIA, G9 showed that the NCC had found a new weapon.
The final score was 180 for 9, a 26 run victory that looks closer than it was because of the 33 wides that were bowled. The bowlers are the ones that do the most work in the nets but do not seem to be able to control the umpire's tendency to display his wingspan when they bowl. Need to work on that. One of these days it will catch up to them. A heartening aspect for the team was that more catches were taken than dropped and the keeper did not let any extra runs go by on the wide balls, only blotting his copybook by letting a solitary bye slip through in the 29th over.
Not surprisingly, Thin Man was the unanimous Man of the Match. Centuries do not come easily in 30 over formats, and that too ones that are completed in just 14 overs! With their second win in as many games, NCC climbs to the top of the league table, but it is a long road and too many bumps lie in wait for complacency to set in.
You never quite know what you might get to see on the road.
Sights like this are why Iowa is the third leading harnesser of wind energy in the US.
And away from the madding crowd, places like this are dime a dozen and yet unique to each one.
Playing cricket under a glorious sky is one of the perks of putting up with the long winter.
But that was not all. There was time to go kayaking on the Batsto River located in the Wharton State Forest (New Jersey).
It is very hard for a non-mainstream sportsperson to make it to the cover of Sports Illustrated (unless they have done something really bad), so it comes as a surprise (and a pleasure) to see Roger Federer feted for his French Open triumph by SL Price.
A dude who spent Sunday morning fretting over Federer then went out and produced an inspired ending to his own day. With 2 weeks to go for the US Open, all the pressure is back on Tiger Woods's shoulders, just where he likes it because it means he is playing well.
But I did not watch Federer or Woods and barely caught the last 6 minutes of the 4th quarter and then all of overtime in the LA-Orlando game.
While ISU was padding up, the fact of the matter was that their batsmen had to score 179 in 20 overs at the rate of just under 9 runs an over. Here are some other noteworthy facts:
Kamikaze picked up the man of the match award with unabashed glee, but special mention must be made of Little Boy. For a big fellow, he showed amazing reflexes behind the wicket, diving around to collect the ball, and picking up a sharp catch and affecting a quick stumping while standing up to the wicket. Rumor is that his feats have captured the eye of some dainty damsel in India and he may be going home to meet her soon. We hope he comes back with his mojo intact. Bon voyage!
(Note: The upper half is the leg-side and the lower half-is the offside. Also, 9 o'clock is directly behind the keeper, while 3 o'clock is directly behind the bowler) 
(Note: The upper half is the leg-side and the lower half-is the offside. Also, 9 o'clock is directly behind the keeper, while 3 o'clock is directly behind the bowler)
As the ancient Chinese curse goes: Be careful what you wish for, it may come true.
From the underappreciated official French Open website comes this (sort-of) blow by blow account of the Men's Doubles final between LeanderPaes/Lucas Dlouhy and Dick Norman/Wes Moodie.
If you are counting (and I know some of you are) Paes now has 5 Grand Slam doubles titles to 4 for Mahesh Bhupathi. Bhupathi still leads him 7 to 5 in the mixed doubles category. Incredibly, Bhupathi has won mixed doubles titles with 7 different partners.
Stefan Edberg.
While Thin Man was batting, all superstitions were rigidly enforced by the supporters. No one was allowed to move from his or her spot, including Bhishma, who had the misfortune of having moved to the bench just as the hitting spree began. Though he begged to be spared from sitting in the hot sun, he wasn't allowed to budge even an inch. Some relief, in the form of a duffel bag was very thoughtfully provided by Little Boy. What did you expect - an umbrella?!
Star Trek: The characters in this movie behave as if they already know how they will end up years from now. If I were on the deck of the USS Enterprise and this James Kirk was at the helm, I would seriously contemplate mutiny. Not once in the whole movie does he demonstrate why the rest of the crew would be willing to walk over broken glass, barefoot, if he asked them to. His ascension to the captain's chair from the not-so-lofty perch of a First Officer is simply because the script demands it. He is crude, insolent, ill-tempered, and selfish to the extreme. Good qualities in a dictator, not a leader of a multi-cultural spaceship. The franchise has been rejigged by JJ Abrams, but I am not so sure of its future. (Sure, it will make tons of money and have many sequels, but that is not what I mean).
Angels and Demons: Tom Hanks reprises his role from The Da Vinci Code. And when I say reprises, I mean exactly that. He tries his best but is unable to elevate the movie beyond the level of a time-pass movie. Revelations and discoveries do not come with a sense of awe. The movie spends more time with fights and explosions and does not pause to exploit the stunning architecture and vistas that Rome (and Vatican City) accord. As Hanks hurtles from one church to another, it becomes a blur, and at this point I am hard pressed to recall any of the details of the movie, even though I have read the book multiple times. If no more Langdon movies were made, I would not cry out in protest. Sadly, there is a new Langdon book on the horizon and I am sure a movie will follow soon enough.
Terminator Salvation: First up, a confession. When I heard that Christian Bale was going to play John Connor, I raised my expectations for the movie. After all, he would not act in a movie that would render him anonymous, would he? Well, not only is he anonymous, he plays second fiddle to a guy who may or may not be a cyborg. Either way, that cyborg (so, I spoiled it for you, but the trailers reveal as much) is more human than John. Multiple times in the movie, John is shown listening to tapes his mother left behind and he knows the future is no longer what his mother predicted it would be. Yet he deludes himself into making decisions, time after time, that try to recreate that future. Confusing? Well, not as confusing as the direction the movie series is headed towards. When you know your father before he knows you, and years before he even meets your mother, trouble is brewing in some screenwriter's mind, I promise. There are two more Terminator movies in the pipeline. I wonder if the director will realize that watching Terminators throw John Connor around for 30 minutes is neither dramatic nor is it an interesting climax to the movie. Seriously! It is as pointless as the car chases in James Bond movies where the villain's henchmen are shooting bullets at Bond while chasing him around hairpin bends. Everyone knows how it is going to end, so quit trying to dramatize it. Instead spend some more time showing how John Connor may be thinking or plotting his way out of a tight spot. Now that would be so much more fun. 
X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Save your money. A colossal waste of time. The titular character has three displays of emotion - anger, sadness, and confusion. And sometimes all three together. But mostly it is just anger. We know that Wolverine is almost indestructible but it does not stop folks from fighting him about 7 different times in the movie (and I am probably underestimating this). Okay, let me elaborate on that. They fight him the same way each time. Dude, it did not work the last 6 times, what makes you think it will work now? Try something different. *sigh* I went in with low expectations but even the special effects were too choppy to be sensational, and the movie was beyond redemption. Hugh Jackman better read the script before he signs on for the next edition or else his best work may end up being when he hosts the Oscars.
Over in the NFL, Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts is not a name that comes readily to mind when we think of big fellows. If anything, he is considered to be on the slender side for a QB.
The following photo gives you an idea of how big the NFL players must really be. Tiger Woods looks almost Lilliputian in comparison to Manning!
I used to think Tiger could have been a running back in the NFL. Now, methinks he would have been crushed to death by the linebackers!
Thankfully, Lee Child does not subscribe to the JD Salinger school of book-writing and has already (so he claims) finished writing the next one (called 61 hours). The New York Times has some more bits of knowledge to share about Child, including a bit too much information about the latest book. Oh well, at least they left out the most revealing bits of information.
