Linked up

1) I do not follow Major League Baseball closely any more. I'd be hard-pressed to name 5 players who are currently active. The first name that comes to mind, though, is Ichiro Suzuki. I recently wondered whether he had retired and came across this haunting, haunting piece about Ichiro - the man who has become the very thing he hated to become as a 3 year old. Very sad.

2) If a tree is falls in a forest but there is no one to hear it does it make a sound? The best bowling analysis EVER in a T20 match happened at Lal Bahadur Stadium in Hyderabad but to the cricketing it world it does not exist. Alfred Absolem took a scarcely believable  7 wickets for 15 runs but his achievement will probably never be acknowledged because it was a played between two teams in the Indian Cricket League (ICL) which was obliterated by the IPL/BCCI within a few years.

3) The only NFL player I actually wanted to watch in person was Randy Moss. I managed to do it once at Ford Field in Detroit. If you want to know why he has great, watch this: EVERY TD of his greater than 40 yards. Mind you, these are only those that were 40 yards or longer....

Bleeding heart

A few years ago, I decided not to pay attention to the IPL indirectly because of one man - Lalit Modi. Paradoxically, in the past few days, I have started paying more attention to the IPL because of the same man.

Unfortunately, it is not the cricketing news that I am interested in. How sad.

Lest people think I have a grudge against the cricket in the IPL, let me clarify that I do not. The ICL/IPL model had three things going for it that pleased me immensely:

When ants meet sledgehammers

There is a temple in Nebraska which has been very good at fund-raising in the past few years. So much so that it is widely regarded as being the strongest temple, especially in these economically difficult times, by virtue of the monetary clout it possesses.

Last year a small group of individuals in this temple set up a separate prayer group. Some of the members of the temples in the state also joined this prayer group. The main temple did not approve of this move and banned any person belonging to their temple from fraternizing with the new group. The prayer group held steady and began to expand. However, the temple extended its reach by preventing other temples in Nebraska from letting members of this prayer group from attending or participating in any temple-related activity.

Soon, the members of this prayer group were ostracized and when a couple of them tried to organize charity events in the neighboring state of Iowa, the Nebraska temple strong-armed the Iowa temple into preventing these individuals from participating in the activity.

The Nebraska temple then successfully lobbied the main governing body that oversees the functioning of all temples in the country and has officially stopped any member of the prayer group from practicing their faith anywhere else in the entire US. Any temple not complying with this faces severe sanctions and worse.

Do you think this is unfair? If you do, here's the official website of the now-ostracized group.

If you are NOT affected by it, here's the official website of the all-powerful group. You may also want to see the clemency offer that was so magnanimously put forward to the splinter group.

Cricket links

Here are articles that merit a few sentences but probably not an entire blog item. (Also, I think I will get lynched by some of my regulars, who are not as cricket-centric as I am, if I proceed to have 5 more posts on cricket today!).

a) If you haven't already gotten the message - I am thoroughly jealous of Sidharth Monga. Here's a sample of his tour diary from New Zealand while he has the arduous task of following the Indian cricket team and reporting on it. Grr-dom prevails. Someday....someday...

February 24
Norm has been driving the Indian team around in his coach. He has done the job for various sports teams for a long time now. The first time he went into the bus this time, he saw Sachin Tendulkar in his customary first seat, and his jaw dropped. "Jeez you are famous," Norm said.

A few of Norm's observations: the Indians are immaculately behaved; most of them put on their iPods when they board, except for Tendulkar, who is always seen laughing with Harbhajan Singh and Zaheer Khan. Norm keeps the bus keys away from Sehwag. Never know when he feels like a drive. Alone.

b) From the "Ripley's Believe It Or Not!" stable comes this entry - England has the world's #1 batsman and bowler. I kid you not!

Step into the spotlight - Isa Guha and Claire Taylor. (What?! You thought I was talking about Pietersen and Flintoff?). I watched England thump India yesterday (yes, I watch women's cricket, too!) and came away maha impressed with Guha, Taylor, and Mithali Raj.

c) Elsewhere, Sidharth Monga describes the inequity that exists in cricket these days between bat and ball, particularly in the shorter form of the game. ODI's first double century is coming, maybe in just a few hours from now (in the 4th ODI between India and New Zealand, but I will not rejoice when it does. Scoring runs these days is as easy it was to hunt a dodo back when dodo's were alive and thriving.

What is even more frustrating is that people like Sachin Tendulkar, who should know better, think this is a wonderful trend. Sickening, really.

There is an inherent flaw in the modern cricketing language too. Commentators, captains, experts instinctively call a flat track a "good pitch". A pitch which assists bowling is put in the "not-of-international-standard" category.

Tendulkar recently criticised the pitches on the last tour to New Zealand thus: "The wickets are great [this time around]. Not only players, but the spectators are also enjoying it. Last time we came here the bowlers got false confidence and the batters were looking for technical problems which didn't exist. I have at least not played on tracks like those and it wouldn't be ideal for the spectators either."

Most of it is fair comment, but the pitches are not great this time either. Not with the small boundaries at least, where edges and dabs go for boundaries and sixes. Won't the easy runs give some of the batsmen false confidence? Wouldn't bowlers be looking for faults that might not even exist when they look at their figures? The bowlers won't be thinking of all that though for they are facing the ultimate test of their skill and acumen.

d) The recent events in Pakistan have put some doubts into the latest season of the IPL. The IPL has successfully flexed its muscles, notably with respect to the ICL and the ICC. But now, the IPL may be trying to bite a bitter chunk than it can reckon with - the Indian electoral system, as Nirmal Shekar explains in The Hindu in a tongue-and-cheek way.

The Indian Premier League is about many things. It’s about money, money, money, money, money… and then, of course, about a bit of cricket, of the frenetic kind, too.

Given that fact, this column has a suggestion to Mr. Lalit Modi, the IPL’s high-profile head honcho. He should request the Central Government of the world’s largest democracy to postpone the general elections scheduled for April-May. Well, actually he should go beyond that: he should demand it.
(...)
There is a simple solution: postpone the polls, no matter what the Constitution says, no matter what the Election Commissioners may say. After all, can these blokes possibly bring in hundreds of millions to the kitty? Can they conceivably persuade Preity Zinta or Shilpa Shetty — draped in the finest their unabashedly expensive wardrobes can offer — to jive it live in front of TV cameras during the matches?

Did anyone whisper anything about priorities? By golly, who cares? After all, this is a nation where Parliament erupts in atavistic frenzy whenever the Indian cricketers lose a match in South Africa, and reverts to certain ennui as the odd member brings up an issue such as farmer suicides.
(...)
In a rational world, it would have been an open-and-shut case, a non-issue. If the governments of the States where the IPL matches are scheduled believed they would not be able to provide adequate security to the players because of the election pressures, then the Central Government should simply tell the Board of Control for Cricket in India that it would do well to postpone, or even cancel, the event.
(...)
Repeatedly we are told that there is far too much at stake for too many people, for the IPL Board to even so much as contemplate the idea of such a postponement or a cancellation. But who are these stakeholders, and why should elected governments stretch their security apparatus dangerously thin in order to protect their interests?

e) Asian players have long complained about a biased treatment from the match officials when it comes to handing out punishments. But news from West Indies would have heartened them when they heard that two English players were found guilty of excessive appealing. But before I could write about it here, Samir Chopra beat me to the punch on his blog.

But wait! The two Englishmen are named Madhusudan Singh Panesar and Amjad Khan! Curses. See? Its in the genes, the stars, the pitch, the water, the blood, the skies. Poor lads. Their parents moved so far away from home, put up with the trials and tribulation of migration, of an unsympathetic local populace, brought their kids up right, sent them to good schools, made sure they didn't have the wrong accents, and even got them into the English team, complete with the Four Lions sweater. But they still got hauled up for excessive appealing.

Sorry lads; you can run, but you can't hide.

Or in the case of Panesar, you can prance like an excited bird (or a happy seal as aptly described by the commentators on CricInfo) but you can never be a McGrath. Note how McGrath never turns around before the decision is given, but was he reprimanded? Are you kidding me?!

Chain mail

Here are some of the other cricket-related links that have caught my eye in the recent past:

a) Sharda Ugra profiles the resurgent Zaheer Khan, India's premier pace spearhead. The article is two pages long and is quite a good read.

Away from Indian cricket’s fractious atmosphere of the time, he bowled more than 600 overs in long spells for his 78 wickets, perfecting his art, understanding his options and what to do when.
The county game, says VVS Laxman, “transformed” Zaheer. “He had always looked to bowl quick and take wickets. But county cricket taught him to bowl within himself, when to attack and when to contain.” It is an art that the fast bowler understands as he gets older. When he finds that groove, he goes from struggling apprentice to master, a stage many believe Zaheer is entering now. His best is yet to be.

b) David Leggat describes the preposterous extent to which the BCCI will go to crush the ICL, even extending its tentacles into New Zealand's domestic exhibition games.

You might think that NZC could feel entitled to tell the BCCI that they've done their bit and found a first-class game for their six test players. If the BCCI want to get toey that's their business.

But that won't happen. Spaniels don't tell rottweilers their business.

c) Suresh Menon writes a more generalized piece on the same issue. The BCCI is soon going to reach a point where it antagonizes everyone with its attitude towards the ICL. But the Board officials don't seem to care one bit about it as long as they can crush the aspirations of the ICL.

The board never misses an opportunity to stick it into its counterparts around the world. This is a strange mixture of arrogance and uncertainty; of egotism and diffidence. How much longer before it insists India will not tour a country unless a certain number of Indian victories are written into the contract? Or - the more likely scenario - the rest of the world gets together, tells the Indian board to stuff itself and gives up on the money (India’s trump card) in exchange for self-respect? India argues the rest cannot exist without them, but the reverse is also true: India cannot exist without the rest.
(...)
It would be a pity if, just as the players work themselves into the top position in the world rankings, the board implodes with its own self-importance and India become the pariahs of world cricket.

d) And finally, what does Michael Slater have to do with the success of Slumdog Millionaire? Not much, but he does play a small role...sort of!

Little bits of cricket

1) In 2008, while the rest of the Test-playing nations had many a match to ponder over, the Pakistani team sat at home twiddling thumbs. 2009 does not promise to be much better either. David Furrows has an interesting option for the PCB to explore - play at a neutral venue as a "home team". It is not as far-fetched an idea as it first seems...

The third option is far more compelling because it offers potential entry to the Big Four club. It involves long-term planning to host series in other Test-playing countries, both during the remaining 58 months of Pakistan's existing TV-rights contract and beyond that time. Pakistan could play most of its "home" series in England, scheduling Test matches on days in summer when England is not playing home Tests. There is little cricket overseas at that time of year, and so the boards of the opposing countries are likely to see this as a potential revenue earner. Headingley, Old Trafford and The Oval would offer substantial gate receipts due to the local Pakistani diaspora.

(...) There are now eight Test grounds in the UK, but with Lord's usually hosting two Tests per summer, inevitably two or three counties miss out on hosting an England Test every year. Pakistan's home Tests could be a lucrative consolation for those venues.

2) Peter Roebuck chimes in on Hashim Amla, a key member of South Africa's fast-surging team.

Hashim Amla counts amongst the most serene of cricketers. Nothing seems to ruffle him. Along the way both life and cricket have tried to disturb his tranquility, only to be met with a mild smile and a broad bat. Fast bowlers have pounded him with bumpers. Nothing personal, you understand, just that he was a new kid on the block and his back-foot game was regarded as suspect; mistakenly as it turned out. Refusing to hook, he simply parried the bouncers as he has everything else, and waited for the storm to abate, whereupon he resumed collecting runs in his unflustered way.

3) Sriram Veera watches Virender Sehwag and Sachin Tendulkar at a nets session in Sri Lanka and comes away impressed by the maverick. I really wish I could have his job!

And he (Sehwag) constantly teases the bowlers. "Patha nahi chal raha hai na, kidhar daaloon, kya karoon? (Struggling to find where to bowl, eh?), he asks one of the spinners. Both the bowler and the batsman laugh. Sehwag keeps watching Tendulkar bat, passing comments, “Shot Master! Wah ji Wah! (bravo).” He also pulls Tendulkar's leg now and then by praising the bowler who has got the better of him. Tendulkar simply laughs.

4) The ICL has been trying to get the ICC's attention as a legitimate enterprise. The ICC, kowtowing to the needs of the BCCI, has been putting things off. A January 31st meeting of the ICC was supposed to have discussed the issue. Not surprisingly they have, in the manner of most obtuse committees around the world, simply put off the decision-making till a later date. I think it is time the ICL called their bluff and took them to court.

The status of the ICL is still in limbo, with the ICC board having deferred considering the Indian Twenty20 league's application for approval pending further discussions between the BCCI, ICL and the ICC.

Quality control

The Indian Cricket League has been dismissed as a league for has-been's and never-were's and one that is doomed to fail. While some of the players are well past their pirme, there are others, like AT Rayudu, who should have been playing for the BCCI India Test team. The ICC may kowtow to the BCCI and not acknowledge this league, but it is doing just fine without the "official" tag. My parents avidly follow the games and I know many thousands more do, too. Almost 50,000 people were at the ground for the finals between the Hyderabad Heroes and the Lahore Badshah's (which was won by the Badshah's).

The fans were treated to some really good Twenty20 cricket and also one of the greatest outfield catches you will EVER see, by Justin Kemp. Watch and admire the big guy's agility, timing, and control...



And here's another one that is just as good, if only for the quick thinking of the fielder who was about to cross the boundary line. I have often "imagined" taking catches by the boundary line in this manner.

Trolling the web

While taking a break from preparing lectures, I wandered around the web and these are the articles that caught my eye:

a) When cricketers retire and go to the commentary booth, I expect their analysis to consist of more than the banal "What India needs right now is a couple of quick wickets." or "A good over or two will change the complexion of the game." D-uh! What I am looking for is an insight into the game that someone looking on from outside may not readily pick up on. Here's a perfect example and it comes from someone who is still playing the game at a very high level. Aakash Chopra tells us why the type of ball used in matches makes a huge difference. That's insight, dear analysts.

The SG Test ball that is used in first-class and Test cricket in India is relatively soft (made with a soft cork inside and a finer quality of leather) with a very pronounced seam. The ball doesn't move too much, but once it gets a little old, if maintained properly, it swings throughout the day. The ball comes a bit slower off the surface unless it's been made to pitch on the seam. The only way to succeed with an SG Test ball is to land it on the seam, for otherwise you're doomed. On the contrary, the SG Tournament ball has a lot more glaze on it, and is made with hard cork and not-so-fine leather. The ball does a lot when it's new, and travels much quicker after pitching even when it is not pitched on the seam.

The figures we see at the end of the game could be quite misleading. You can't pick a fast bowler just because he wreaked havoc with that ball in the winters in north India. Spinners get less purchase, and hence shouldn't be condemned, and poor openers might not get big scores.

b) Just a day or two after blasting Anil Kumble, Dilip Vengsarkar lets bygones be bygones upon hearing about the leg-spinner's retirement. The article itself is very bland and poorly written, but there is a nugget that was very interesting to read about.

However, DDCA’s curator was quoted as saying that the grass was cut without his knowledge on the eve of the match, making it a lifeless wicket that invariably produces dull cricket, and leaving the curator furious.

c) Rick Reilly used to write the last page article for Sports Illustrated for years. Often it was the best thing in the whole magazine. Now he works for ESPN and, occasionally, still produces brilliantly written pieces, such as this one about John Wooden, the celebrated coach of the UCLA men's basketball team of the 60's and 70's. A must-read from start to finish.

d) One of the people who caught my eye in the early part of this millennium on a cricket field was Shane Bond. He had an injury-ravaged career in which he showed what could have been. When fit, he was the best FAST bowler in the world, better than the Lee's and Akhtar's of the world. Way better. Here, he reminisces about his achievements and his role in the ICL.

e) Harsha Bhogle waxes eloquently about Laxman. I may have already linked to this earlier, but I don't care. Read it again, if you already have. Or read it for the first time and enjoy a writer describing a batsman, with both at the top of their game.

This will be one of Laxman's more satisfying moments. He was treated very shabbily during the IPL, was prevented, in a most bizarre episode, from playing for a month in England and had to witness the swords being sharpened for his execution. Don't forget this is a man who gave up a million dollars a year so the Deccan Chargers could get better players and help develop cricket in his state. In England they are going crazy over a million dollars per player. Laxman gave up a million a year for three years! At the end of the first season in the IPL, he was sacked when he had been captain for six games and the job was given to a man who had led in the other eight!! And not a thank you for the extra three million!!

f) Finally, the folks at CricInfo try to describe VVS Laxman in a elegantly written article. Wonderful writing. One for the archives.

When VVS Laxman plays like he did today, there isn't a worry in the world. For 470 minutes over the last two days even the Feroz Shah Kotla's garish stand at the Tata End didn't look ugly. For 470 minutes, Laxman disguised violence with grace and left Australia hopelessly spellbound.

When Laxman plays like he did today...

Mother tongue

When I call my parents in India, I usually do so in the daytime (nightime in India). For years and years, after the general introductory chit-chat, the topic of discussion has usually turned to books recently read, internet sites recently visited, and occasionally, TV shows being watched.

Then came the IPL...

Say what you will about the IPL (and I can say a lot of things against it) it changed the way TV was watched in millions of households in India for 45 days. My mother would tell me about feats that batsmen had performed, wickets that bowlers had taken, catches that fielders had snared, required run-rates, chances of making semi-finals, strategies that should be adopted, and even the fact that the cheerleaders in the ICL were superior to the IPL - everything was up for discussion!! The Deccan Chargers laid an egg but it did not matter to my parents who had a blast with the tournament.

But before Lalit Modi sprains his neck patting himself on his back, here's the catch. My parents were EVEN MORE excited about the ICL, to an extent because the Hyderabad Heroes were winning it all, but mainly because they cared more about these players, because of their pariah status. Alfred Absolem took 7 wickets in just four overs for the Heroes, but like the fictional Bhuvan, his feat may forever be consigned to the scrap heap, to be conveneintly forgotten in time.

So the winner here is not the IPL - it is Twenty20 cricket. Consuming just 3 hours (when the captains stick to the prescribed over-rates, that is) in the evening, it is the perfect length and compresses a lot of action in that time. What's not to like about a format that encourages interest in the game? Well, the proverb about the goose that lays the golden egg comes to mind.

Lalit Modi is already touting the idea of having two IPL seasons in one year. He will do well to read up on some economics, especially the Law of Diminishing Returns.

Hubris or greed?

The IPL, once considered to be simply a branch of the BCCI, is fast taking over the reins of the cricketing world. A corny, overrated line from the Spider-man movies resonates here - With great power comes great responsibility.

The IPL is trying to dictate to the other cricketing bodies, and succeeding to a certain extent because the other Boards cannot match the money that is being flaunted at the players. Rather than lose the players completely, Boards have been willing to compromise. But the IPL is beginning to push the envelope and, in doing so, is sowing the seeds for discontent and rebellion.

Already the ECB is making noises about starting its own Twenty20 league and has taken into its fold the overseas County players still contracted to the ICL. As long as the IPL was dictating to the Boards it was on safe ground. But now in a move designed to alienate an increasing number of folks, it has unwisely decided to dictate to the media. In an age when the media is a willing accomplice, the IPL has made the mistake of assuming that its pull exceeds it reach.

Hubris or greed? You decide. Providing an excellent synopsis of the entire issue is Prem Panicker's take on the issue.

When the issue was first raised, I assumed that the threat of a media boycott would be enough for the head honchos at the IPL, specifically Lalit Modi, to rethink their stance. However, after the first round of negotiations, it is clear that the IPL is not interested in anything if it does not totally benefit them. Panicker provides a succinct account of the "negotiations" between the media and the IPL.

With all that the IPL is doing and the way in which they are operating, especially with the way they are undermining the future of Test match cricket, I find it extremely difficult to get interested in it. I am not going to follow that league. Test cricket is my favorite form and I shall continue to invest my interest in it.

I have no time for the IPL. The IPL, most certainly, has no time for the common fan, except when it comes to their money. Goodbye IPL, I know you wont miss me, but at least I shall be content that I definitely don't care for you.

Linking up

1) Verifying the actual age of players in age-group events has always been a problem. It's not as if humans can be aged as easily as trees, for example. Of late, the BCCI has focused its attention towards winning matches at the Under-19 level, producing dramatic results. But has it been turning a blind eye towards the issue of how old the players are? Makarand Waingankar explores this in some depth and, thankfully, uses specific names to make his case that some players may be fudging their birth certificates. I wish he had made more concrete suggestions on how to tackle this issue, but that may be a story for another day. Hopefully.

2) Rahul Bhatia, has been reporting on the ICL on behalf of Rediff. Here's an extensive piece on the ICL that discusses what the league is about, what it hopes to accomplish and, importantly, what obstacles it faces. The IPL's attempts to strangle to ICL are bordering on the ridiculous.

3) Never one to mince words, Stephen Fleming outdoes himself here with a very candid assessment of his accomplishments during the last days of his playing career. My favourite part:

Regardless of the unspoken grievances, Fleming was asked if he would leave the game satisfied with his contribution. "Only just," was his disarmingly honest answer. "I am satisfied with 40 on the chest. It sets you apart, in terms of New Zealand batters anyway, but as a batsman I'll always feel I underachieved because I couldn't convert my starts, and I'll never know why. Sometimes I was the master of my own failings, other times it just wasn't meant to be.

The exodus

The Indian Cricket League is gaining steam in India. The latest news is that quite a few prominent Hyderabadi cricketers have possibly joined the league. The biggest coup for the ICL, as of now, has got to be AT Rayudu. Here is a player, in his early 20's with tremendous upside potential, giving away a chance to play for India (should the BCCI continue with its pettiness) to showcase his talents on a different scale. (Prem Panicker discusses the topic with some eye-opening anecdotes thrown in).

Many years ago, DSC suggested that VVS Laxman should have emigrated to Australia, played state cricket, and made it to the Australian team where his contributions would be better appreciated. I think AT Rayudu should actually consider doing this. What does he have to lose? With Shivlal Yadav and his cronies out to destroy this guy's career, I see no way he will be playing for India anytime soon. More's the pity since not long ago he was captaining the India Under-19 team with such distinction.

Rowing up a creek?

First the basics:
A new, independent cricket league is going to be formed soon in India called the Indian Cricket League (ICL).

In typical BCCI fashion, the members promise to take their time assessing the threat and taking appropriate action against it.

For an overall description of the implications and fallout's of this announcement read this article by Jayaditya Gupta.

Finally, to round it off, for a detailed description for the inspiration (no doubt) and the confidence behind this move read this article by Gideon Haigh on Kerry Packer and his rebel league in the 1970's.

My take on this:
The ICL will not succeed in India, not in these times, at least. Would I like them to? Yes, if only for the fact that the BCCI runs cricket (not just Indian cricket) like a kingdom, bowing only (and repeatedly) to the clout of money. The BCCI is the richest board in the world and it is this fact that will undermine the ICL, which is trying to market itself as an ancillary rather than a breakaway league.

To be successful the ICL needs to have players who are in their prime, playing excellent cricket, and capable of representing India on behalf of the BCCI. By joining the ICL the players will have signed away their chances of playing for India. The International Cricket Council (ICC) will recognize only one cricket board per nation and they will not slay their golden goose by cutting ties with it. So in the absence of any "official" status the ICL will only function as a private venture where the biggest carrot that can be dangled in front of the players is money. Unfortunately, market economics being what they are currently, players who represent India (or rather the BCCI) are enormously rich. Joining the ICL will not enhance their income. If anything their income will decline appreciably, especially if endorsement deals do not follow.

Kerry Packer succeeded because the money he paid was more than the players would make otherwise, the television product Channel 9 put out was ahead of its time, and the quality of play was far superior to the one the viewers got to see in the traditional ICC-sanctioned tours. The ICL may try to corner the Twenty20 market but the real money is in ODI's and Tests. In fact, Test cricket would have died a slow death had it not been for the fact that television companies can show ads, periodically interspersed with cricket, for 5 whole days as opposed to just one. So how exactly is the ICL expected to survive in the current scenario?

Some of my friends have said that the Indian fan is tired of the shenanigans of the BCCI and the players and will gladly watch a rebel league. I don't think so. I have already blogged about how fickle I think these "fans" are. Trust me, the Indian team will visit Bangladesh in a few weeks, a couple of players will gorge on the bowling (remember there are no run rates to worry about so they can bat as slowly as they want to), reclaim demi-god status, and the BCCI will go back to its money-minded ways while the ICL will drum up some initial support by harnessing has-been's (such as Jadeja, Mongia, Sriram), and could-have-been's (such as Powar, Ratra, Chopra), and stumble through a season or two. Then the BCCI and the ICL "will come to an agreement" to merge and more mega-bucks will be negotiated with Zee Sports for a TV contract and the golden goose will go on laying eggs. The rabid Indian fan will be oblivious to the bits of egg splattered all over his face and will go back to rooting for the team on a good day and burning effigies on a bad one.

I would love to eat my words but, sadly, I just do not see that happening.