Don't bag it, Sachin

Dear Sachin,

Years ago, Sports Illustrated begged another sporting legend to not quit the sport.  Today, it's my turn to follow their lead.

So, don't bag it, Sachin!  Some time ago, Times of India asked: Endulkar?  My reply today is an emphatic - No!

Several folks are telling you it is time for you to retire from cricket.  I have three things to say about it.

1)  It is NONE of their business to tell you when to retire.  That's a personal choice that is entirely yours to make.  Don't compound their mistake.  Their cries for you to retire are, in reality, cries for you to be dropped from the Indian team.  Those are two different things.  You've been playing cricket for your entire life and competitive cricket for 4/5ths of it.  Who are they to tell you when to stop?

2)  I don't want you to make the same mistake, too.  Retiring from international cricket is different from retiring from playing cricket.  It is very obvious that you love the game very much.  Keep at it.  Play Ranji Trophy, play county cricket.  Play the game for the love of it and not for the trappings that come with it.  If Graeme Hick and Mark Ramprakash could be productive into their mid-40's, so can you.  Heck, it would it really benefit Indian cricket if the Ranji players got to bowl to the likes of you and VVS Laxman.  It would give the selectors a clearer idea of how good they really are.

3)  To hell with how your legacy is being impacted the longer you play.  Don't fret it.  In the end, these last few flickers of the flame will be forgotten when your whole body of work is looked at.

When it comes time to discuss legacies, no one really cares any more that...

• Sourav Ganguly's last Test inning was a golden duck, out to a spinner, of all things.  At least his fate was the same as Don Bradman's, in that regard.
• Muhammad Ali was pounded into submission by someone named Trevor Berbick in his last bout.
• Pele spent the last three years of his career playing for the New York Cosmos.
• Michael Schumacher spent his last three years racing for Mercedes without winning a single race.
• Jerry Rice did not catch a single pass in his final game, in a playoff no less....for the Seattle Seahawks.
• Wayne Gretzky's last season with the New York Rangers fetched him only 9 goals (in 81 games).
• Sunil Gavaskar was bowled for 4 in his final international inning by a journeyman fast bowler.
• Michael Jordan spent his last two seasons with the Washington Wizards and did not even make the playoffs in those two years

Do you want me to cite more?  You get the point, don't you?  Legacy is over-rated.  You will not tarnish your legacy by playing on as long as you wish to.  If the selectors are bold enough to drop you, so be it.  They are simply dropping you from the Indian team, not stopping you from playing cricket.  That's what you value more, isn't it?

You are still among the best batsmen India currently has.  You are among the best outfielders in cricket.  Until someone else comes by whose contributions are vastly superior to the ones you can provide, I feel you should play.  After all, when you did play a Ranji Trophy match recently you made a century almost for fun, toying with the bowling.

Go back to being the kid who hated to get out, the kid who treasured the 13 one-rupee coins he won for not getting bowled, the kid who couldn't stop smiling when the World Cup was won, the kid who loved cricket for cricket's sake.

The Aussies will be here in a few months.  I look forward to seeing you take them on.  And if the selectors decide otherwise, I'll still look forward to you playing some first-class cricket and making centuries for fun.  Like how it used to be.  Like how it can be.  Like how it should be.

Because one day you, and only you, will know that it is time for one last fling.  For one last inning.  For one last battle.

For love of the game.



Sincerely
Jaunty

Dear VVS

Dear VVS,

I will write a longer letter later when I have more time.  I have a lot to say but this is not the time to say it.

I just heard that you were contemplating retirement because you were "visibly hurt by the comments that by continuing to play for India (you were) blocking the chances of youngsters".  The next two Tests against New Zealand may be the last I'll see from start to to end.

I don't blame you for this decision and, while it hurts to see you go like this, I am in favor of it.  I'd rather you leave on your terms than be ushered an unseemly exit by a bunch of folks who seem to make decisions, in the words of some, based on popularity rather than practicality.

But I DO have a request of you - please retire ONLY from international cricket.  Please continue to play at all first-class levels.  I'd like to see you turn out for the Ranji Trophy and, maybe, a stint for an English county (Lancashire would LOVE to have you back).  You have a lot of batting left based on the recent centuries you've scored in domestic matches in the last month and by playing at the Ranji level you can continue to give upcoming players a chance to see what a world-class player is all about.  Further, the bowling stocks are so lousy, this is probably your best shot at winning that elusive Ranji Trophy for Hyderabad.

You are contemplating retirement not because your love for the game has diminished but because you are seeing some ugly writing on the wall.  Please don't confuse one with the other.  Play on until you don't want to any more.  Otherwise you'll end up regretting hanging up your boots too soon like some of your peers.

Listen to your heart, not your head, on this one.  Please.  For cricket's sake.

Sincerely
Jaunty Q

Open letter to the Indian team

To: Indian Cricket team - Test edition
Date:  Day 2, Test 1 - India-West Indies, November 2011

Dear friends,

After watching most of the first two days of the first Test match against West Indies, here's what I have to say to each of you:

Gautam Gambhir:  Get out of ODI mode.  Stop dabbing at the ball, trying to run it down to third man with 3 slips and 2 gullies waiting for the ball.  You are lucky you got to 41.  You not unlucky you got run-out.  You should have been out much sooner and, also, you were holding the bat in the wrong hand.  You got what you were courting.

Virender Sehwag:  We all see very clearly that you do not believe a spinner exists who is worth your time.  But still, you are a little too casual for your own good.  Having said that, I MUST say this - you rock!  Very few batsmen make a game's situation and the bowling seem as superfluous as you do.  When you were batting, 304 seemed a matter of time.  You got out and the pitch reverted to being a mental minefield.  Now, go and bat in the second dig with your foot inside the crease at all times.

Rahul Dravid:  Respect.  While you may be regretting the pull shot, I think it is a godsend.  The team needed a wake up call.  If you had brought the score close to the Windies total, it would have papered over the cracks.

Sachin Tendulkar: I have never seen any batsman look as guilty as you do when you are hit on the pads in front of the stumps.  My goodness, your body language takes away any semblance of doubt the umpire may have.  By the way, smart of you to have failed in the first inning.  Now the stage is set for you to hit a heroic century in the second inning while leading India to a win, a la Chennai a couple of years ago.  As your financial adviser no doubt told you - very strategically smart move.  (Of course, I jest when I say that...maybe).

(By the way, Sachin's aura is undiminished.  As soon as Sehwag got out, the BCCI.tv server crashed!  It was almost as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.)

VVS Laxman:  Are you close enough to that wall that you seem to always have your back against?  Now turn around and look closely.  There's some thing written on it - your future.  You play in just one of three teams for India.  And you land up after a long gap looking like you had a dozen too many extra sweets?  Really?  You can no longer afford to slide by with an inning here or there.  Like Dravid, you need to realize that what you have ahead of you are your last flashes of brilliance before the sun sets.  Lose that paunch, get into a little better shape.  Then maybe you wont look so leaden-footed when playing spinners.  When you inside-edged your 4th ball and it barely missed the leg-stump, in the process getting you off the mark, I though that (maybe) luck was in your favor.  Well, guess what?  You got out off the next ball you faced to a routine ball outside the off-stump from a leg-spinner in the first over of his spell.  Gah!!  Virant Kohli cannot be denied much longer and I don't think he is looking at Yuvraj's spot anymore.

Yuvraj Singh:  Right attitude, right way of playing.  Don't fret.  You were doing the right thing, the execution was slightly awry.  Just retain that attitude, and you'll be fine.

MS Dhoni:  Just pretend you are playing an ODI, for crying out loud.  You got out to Darren Sammy.  Think about that.  You played Finn, Bresnan, Anderson, Broad, Swann and didn't get out and then you get out to Sammy.  Darren Sammy.  Has it sunk in yet?

R. Ashwin:  The second inning was made for you.  You bowled well in the first inning, but I'd like you to pitch the ball up a little closer to the batsmen, giving them less of a chance to play you off the pitch.  Now that you are bowling with the new ball, go forth and prosper.

Ishant Sharma:  You remind me of Jason Gillespie.  And in my book that is a good thing.  Keep your chin up, the rewards will follow.

Umesh Yadav:  Not much to say to you.  The pitch isn't really tailor-made for you.  But you can learn something from the way Fidel Edwards persevered, in spite of being hammered around the ground.

Pragyan Ojha:  You are the Wizard of Ozha.  Give Sunil Gavaskar a few more days and he will come up with that nickname.  Your bowling is just what was needed on this pitch.  Relentless probing on a stump-to-stump line with just a little bit of spin in either direction.  You grabbed your chance with both hands and the sound we hear is of the door swooshing as it starts to slam on Amit Mishra and, if Ashwin can continue to do well, Harbhajan Singh (who went wicketless in his recent Ranji game).

Sincerely
JQ

Time to channel the inner Dhoni

Dear MS Dhoni,

Plenty of knees will be jerking helter-skelter. Don't let that get to you. (Though, of all the captains India has had since I have been following the sport, you appear to be the one who is best equipped to deal with the highs and lows of being captain).

You've captained exactly half (30) of the Test matches you have played (60), which let's us have a wonderful exercise in comparative stat-play.

If they say your batting has become worse since you became captain, tell them this:
As a captain, you've scored 1800 runs at an average of 45 with 3 centuries and 14 fifties, strike rate 58.
As a non-captain, you've scored 1422 runs at an average of 33 with 1 century and 9 fifties, strike rate 62.

If they say, your captaincy sucks and you have put up a good record by beating up on a couple of teams, tell them this:
You have registered Test victories against 7 different nations (Zimbabwe and Pakistan are missing but you've never captained against them). In those victories you average over 56 runs an inning.

Future rewards

Dear MS Dhoni,

Things are not as dire as they may seem. This Indian team reached the #1 ranking over a period of time. You may have lost consecutive Tests to start a series for the first time ever, but fret not, you are still India's best option as a captain. Just as you did not become a splendid captain overnight, you did not become a horrible one in the span of two Tests either.

The Bell run-out fiasco is done and dusted with. However, there is one unintended consequence that will play into your hands as the series progresses. By invoking the nebulous "Spirit of Cricket", the two Andys may have put you in a bind but in the long term it is going to come back to haunt them. Can you imagine the furore the next time they are in a position where they have to uphold the "Spirit of Cricket" and fail to do it? The media will be more than happy to pull them up for their double standards. In time, this decision will reap its rewards. For the rest of their career, Strauss and Flower will have this millstone hanging around their neck. After all, they instigated the whole thing by knocking on your door at tea time.

For the fake Slim Seh-whack

Dear Virender Sehwag,

To paraphrase Eminem:
So, won't the real Slim Sehwag please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

There was a time, Viru, when a score of 50 was just the appetizer. You had mountainloads of patience and were content to motor along playing the ball on its merit and chugging along beyond 150, 200, 250, and even 300. These days that Sehwag has morphed into Seh-whack. Once you reach 50 and the field spreads you do the impossible - you make deep midwicket a catching position and long-on and long-off practically close-in catchers. Especially when a spinner, who you wouldn't give the time of the day, is bowling to you.

The price of power

Dear MS Dhoni,

You know I like you and have been a huge fan of your captaincy and am thoroughly impressed with your leadership skills and handling of personnel. But that does not mean that I am not perplexed by some of the things that have lately been creeping into your leadership style.

Earth to MSD

Dear MS Dhoni,

Are you following the exploits of Pragyan Ojha? Do you still think that Harbhajan Singh is a shoe-in for the first spinner's slot in a limited overs match? Reputation isn't everything.

Sincerely
JQ

The inside man

Dear English Cricket Board,

I hope you enjoyed the initial fruits of your dalliance with John Buchanan, formerly the coach of Australia (and the Kolkata Knight Riders). Since Buchanan did not coach the Aussie bowlers (Johnson, Hilfenhaus, Siddle, Hauritz) or the new boy wonder batsman (Hughes) one can safely assume that he told you all he knows about how to get Katich and Ponting out. Worked out really well, didn't it? Ponting and Katich both recorded unbeaten centuries today.

Why does this man still have a job? And why are you courting him so assiduously? He was fired from coaching a team that finished at the bottom of the IPL.

I am glad to see that he is getting the ECB to foot the bill for what appears to be a nice paid vacation in England.

The former Australia coach will travel across England over the next week, meeting with coaches from England's elite programmes, as well as county mentors Chris Adams (Surrey), Peter Moores (Lancashire) and Mick Newell (Nottinghamshire). He will also spend time with England Lions before their tour match against Australia at Worcester, before presenting a proposal to David Parsons, director of England's National Performance centre in Loughborough, regarding a future role within the England set-up.

Enjoy the time, ECB. It will be worth every pound you spend, I am sure....for Buchanan.

Sincerely,
Jaunty

Think before you speak

Dear Brad Gilbert,

Giving tennis players nicknames is a nice way of showing off to the viewers, but please consider the implications before you come up with your monikers. One example will suffice:

Is Svety (sweaty?!!) the best you could come up with for Svetlana Kuznetsova?

Sincerely,
JQ