Run, Forrest, run!

There are some things you can hide on the silver screen and some that you cannot.  One thing you cannot hide is how you run.  At least for a long distance, in a long shot.

For years, in my mind, the champion runner was Amitabh Bachchan. No one ran better or more impressively than him.  Check it out:



(The dude also got shot in the back quite a few times, didn't he?  I guess he couldn't outrun a bullet).

In Hollywood, the undisputed leader is Tom Cruise.  I have yet to see a movie of his where there isn't at least one scene of him running.  It's almost as bad as Paresh Rawal and eating scenes or Sridevi and monochrome saris in a song.  Here's a compilation of Tom Cruise running and running.



For what it's worth, I still think Amitabh is the better-looking runner.

Sneaking into our senses

Say what you will about the quality of the movies themselves, but the folks in Bollywood are learning how to make interesting previews these days.

Hello, world

Someday, somewhere, Tiger Woods will emerge from his self-imposed vanvaas. Numerous folks have voiced their opinion about how and when he should come back and which platform to announce it on.

I think it is time for Eldrick Tont Woods to change his nickname. He should take some inspiration from an iconic Hindi movie and announce his return thusly:

Musical medley remixed

Remember this? Mile sur mera tumhara was a phenomenon when it was first aired in the 80's.



A new version of this has been released - longer, more elaborate, and with a lot more star power than the original. I prefer the original which seemed to flow more easily and was less strained. (Also, one can't help but wonder about Salman Khan, who sends such mixed signals). Where the first one ends with Amitabh Bachchan, the new new starts with him. It is in two parts. Here's Part 1:



Here's Part 2:

Yesterday once more

A long time ago, an Amitabh Bachchan movie was an event, an event to celebrate his mega-duper image and antics. Like so:



Today, you have another Amitabh Bachchan preview coming out. It features a polished, MTV-video quality production, with none of the action centered around him. It will still be touted as an AB movie, just without the associated dhishum-dhishum. I'm not complaining, just thinking aloud about the transition of the fellow who is still the most sought after leading man in Bollywood, Khans notwithstanding.

Yeh dosti

If you like Hindi movies and are nostalgic about the 70's and 80's, you'll love this photo. There are so many things great about this image, and it conjures up so many different thoughts, that that I will let it speak for itself.

Tempest in a teacup?

Say what you will about his movies but Ram Gopal Verma does have interesting premises for his movies. His blog is constant source of amusement for me and on it he gave us a look at his latest offering Rann featuring the ubiquitous Amitabh Bachchan.

RGV's movies have been hit and miss for me. I enjoyed Kshana Kshanam, thought that Sarkar and Shiva had their moments, was ambivalent about Rangeela and Company, while I absolutely disliked RGV ki Aag (and blogged about it here).

His latest offering seems interesting enough to make me want to see it when it comes out.

Those were the days..

"You see the whole country of the system is juxtapositioned by the hemoglobin in the atmosphere because you are a sophisticated rhetoretician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity."

Editorial license

For years Amitabh Bachchan has been ranting that he is always being misquoted or quoted out of context by the media. But ever since he started blogging he has found a medium to show people how it has been happening.

One example will suffice. On his blog, on Day 308, he talks about how answers are creatively edited so it sounds like someone is saying something controversial.

I am putting for your benefit some of the press articles that came out in this and other regard. They are all written by very senior and respected journalists and written in the editorial column. Read them carefully and in depth and assuage yourselves whether what has been expressed by us is in any way worthy of being termed negative or disrespectful either to the event or to the winners.

My interview to DNA, the way I gave it. Compare it to the way it has been presented.

{Here's Amitabh's undited response, presented in full on his blog.}

5. A few technicians from India (for example Rasool Kutty ) have managed to get the attention of the Oscars, while the actors from India are still to make a mark…What do you attribute this to?

ANS//
Yes true. The reason that Rasool has received attention is because he has worked in a foreign ( English ) film that has received Oscar nomination. When their system of judging feels actors from India deserve an Award we shall respectfully acknowledge it. There have been very few instances when an actor not speaking English in a non English film has been recognised for his acting capabilities. We make films in Indian languages and speak Indian languages.

{Here's the edited response (with the deleted text marked in red font), presented in DNA.}

A few technicians from India (for example Rasool Kutty ) have managed to get the attention of the Oscars, while the actors from India are still to make a mark…What do you attribute this to?

Yes true. The reason that Rasool has received attention is because he has worked in a foreign ( English ) film that has received Oscar nomination. When their system of judging feels actors from India deserve an Award we shall respectfully acknowledge it. There have been very few instances when an actor not speaking English in a non English film has been recognised for his acting capabilities. We make films in Indian languages and speak Indian languages.

But, what more can one expect from today's "soundbite" media?

Growing pains

Amitabh Bachchan is an avid blogger. Much more regular than I am and I visit his blog every day. For a few days, ironically from the eve of his 66th birthday, he has not blogged (until yesterday) and the reason is known to anyone with access to a newspaper or television.

In a very revealing blog post (Day 472), Amitabh talks about the ordeal he went through. Read it here, and please read it fully. After an initial descriptive tone, the article begins to offer a much closer look into the man. If you ignore the fact that it is Amitabh who is writing this, you can almost see the makings of a haunting short story, with a kicker at the end. Wow!

A father's words

I am a regular reader of Amitabh Bachchan's blog. Yes, the actor has a blog (much, much, much more on that later). In the blog he is quite open about events in his past (not ALL events, but many) and what shaped him to be the man he is today. On Day 49 (he blogs daily) he had a great nugget to share about a particular interaction he had with his father Harivansh Rai Bachchan, the famous poet. I am providing an excerpt of the incident below. At the end of the interaction is a great poem, the perfect response from a father to his frustrated son.

The avenues and opportunities open to the youth today in an economically liberated India was absent in the late 50’s and early 60’s.

After graduation what ? Where to find a job ? What job ? How ? When ?

And the idealism and debate and the coffee house banter soon converts itself to anger.

The anger of not knowing what to do with ourselves.

You look for answers. You turn to those that may have them. You become followers of others’ wisdom; or seeming wisdom. You become vulnerable and porous. And on one ‘enlightened’ moment you get the answer from a fellow sufferer.

‘Why were we brought into this world ?’, a voice arose, ‘to suffer ?’

That’s it !

That’s the fault. We should never have been brought into this world.

Judgement passed.

Angered, frustrated, strengthened and armed with unreasonable thought, I walked into my father’s study one evening and for the first time in my life, with choked emotion, raised my voice at him and screamed -

“Why did you give birth to me ?” “Aapne hamme paida kyun kiya ?”

My father, immersed as he always was in his writing, looked up at me with some initial surprise and then settled down to a more understanding posture and remained so for almost eternity.

No one spoke. Not him. Not me. Not a sound.

Just the measured clicking of the time piece on his desk – and my un-measured breathing !

When nothing came across from parent quarter, I turned and left.

It was an uncomfortable night for me.

The next morning my father walked into my room, woke me up and handed me a sheet of paper and left. I opened it. It was a poem he had written overnight – titled - ‘Nayi Leek’ - the new generation - the new beginning -
Pulled and torn by the strains of life and living
My sons ask me
“Why did you give birth to us ?”
And I do not possess an answer to this
That even my father did not ask me before giving birth to me,
Nor my father asked his father before producing him
Nor my grandfather did ask his father before bringing him.

The trials and tribulations of life and living
Were there before
And are there now too, perhaps more
And shall be there tomorrow, even greater.
Why don’t you make a new beginning, a new thinking,
Ask your sons before giving birth to them !

Maggi Noodle Review: RGV's Aag

Severely burnt toast

This past weekend I was walking around Manhattan (well, sort of), when I wandered into a movie theatre (check out the "pun"ny name of the theatre) to watch Ram Gopal Varma's ode to Sholay - the grand-daddy of contemporary Indian movies .


His movie is very humbly titled "Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag".

I have seen some bad movies in my life. In my opinion, the worst I had ever seen was Battlefield Earth. I think I have found a competitor.

The star cast is fairly talented - Amitabh Bachchan, Mohanlal, Ajay Devgan, Sushmita Sen, Rajpal Yadav, Sushant Singh, and (in guest appearances) Urmila Matondkar and Abishek Bachchan. (Don't worry if I just ruined a "surprise" - it is a "blink-and-you-miss-it" cameo).

Just a few years ago RGV made a great adaptation of the Godfather, called Sarkar. While keeping the basic premise of the story he diverged greatly from the script, retained the tautness and the tension, and got great performances from his cast. I thought he'd do something similar with this one. Not so.

The biggest problem with the movie is also its draw card - Amitabh Bachchan. He plays Babban Khan as a growling, brooding, dark, Darth Vader-like character, unfortunately without the corresponding aura. In an attempt to be different from Amjad Khan's portrayal, Amitabh hogs the camera and does not let it go for hours at a time. You can see what he wants to say but the character takes so long you wonder why so many people still work for such a dimwit like him. Not once in the movie does he do anything to inspire fear or awe amongst the people that work for or against him. At least with Gabbar you could see why the other dacoits would want to hang out with him. With Babban Singh, all that his henchmen get for their troubles is an unnaturally dark room, heavy breathing, horse-hooved boots, a dry cough that is actually supposed to be a laugh, and lines that would make the victim kill himself to avoid the agony of listening to him any more. The only time in the movie Babban is menacing is when he leads into the scene that mirrors the "Ye haath mujhe dede, Thakur" scene from Sholay.

Mohanlal is a fine actor. But he is horribly miscast, his distinctly thick South Indian accent working against him. It was absolutely fine in Company where he played a similar role, but here it distracts, especially as he is the character with the most plot-critical dialogues. I have two words for you RGV - Boman Irani.

Ajay Devgan is terrible, sleepwalking through a role that he probably signed on for without looking at a script. Sushmita Sen spends the whole movie either crying or trying to act all serious and gambhir. Did I already use the word miscast?

The two relative newbies are the rickshaw-driver girlfriend of Devgan and Devgan's sidekick Raj. The girl cannot act. I looked at her profile on IMDB.com and was shocked to see that she is appearing or has appeared in 7 RGV connected films, out of the 11 in her career. I'd have thought one screen test would have sifted her out. Apparently not. She must really ace those screen tests. What else could explain RGV's infatuation, I mean admiration, of her acting skills?

As for Devgan's sidekick, he does not have much of a role and no memorable lines. His idea of becoming serious is to frown. Otherwise he has a bland expression - like a guy who has not yet made up his mind, waiting in line to order a pizza.

It all comes down to RGV. His camera work is shoddy. He needs to fire the guy that did the background score. Moreover, he needs to go back and watch his own movies to learn how to use silence as a way of communicating fear. In the first half-hour I thought (sincerely) that the movie was a parody of the original. Later on it gets so heavy with its seriousness that it is clear the director thought he was improving on the original. Yikes!

Oh yes, I think he forgot to pay his electricity bill on time. The whole movie is so dark, I swear it could have been filmed in the prehistoric ages and not a single scene would have changed. If anything, the flickering flames (pun intended) would have probably improved the movie.

Somewhere, Ramesh Sippy is cackling in delight. His movie's legendary reputation has further been enhanced by this abomination.

"Inspired" movie-making

With each passing day comes an announcement that an Indian director is going to be "remaking" another old classic. The most recent example is of Amitabh Bachchan reportedly signing on to act in the Bollywood version of Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita".

I am surprised that another movie - "L.A. Confidential" - has not been made into a Hindi movie yet (or if it has, I am unaware of it). To save a potential producer the trouble of figuring out who to cast, here are my suggestions:

Ed Exley - Hrithik Roshan (with the "Lakshya" look and performance)
Bud White - Abhishek Bachchan (the "Yuva" look and performance)
Jack Vincennes - Ajay Devgan (must be clean shaven and suave)
Capt. Dudley Smith - Amitabh Bachchan (a tailor-made role for him)
Lynn Bracken - Sushmita Sen (perfect with the "Main Hoon Na" look)
Sid Hudgens - Boman Irani (ONLY if he does not make it a caricature)

I would also recommend that Farhan Akhtar be the director.

I think the movie would do very well, but getting this star cast will be the issue.