TMC: Episode 10 - Heating up

Welcome to The Midwest Chronicles (TMC). These are the accounts of the exploits of the Nebraska Cricket Club in the 2009 season. To spice up what would otherwise be a routine match report of runs scored, wickets taken, and catches snaffled (or spilled) these posts are being written with a tongue firmly in cheek but with the facts completely in the true. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the meandering show.

Here's a complete guide to the cast of characters and their nicknames. The cast will be updated as players are added or dropped or nicknames changed as the season progresses.

The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.
- Dale Carnegie

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a Heaven for?
- Robert Browning

With the regular season reaching winding down, 'tis the time for return engagements. This time it was NCC's turn to visit the Iowa Bulls. In the first game of the season Iowa had steamrolled to an embarrasingly easy victory.

For a change, Captain Ozone won the toss. The skies were clear, the temperature was hovering in the mid-80's (and would go on to cross 100 by mid-afternoon), the humidity was over 80% and Ozone had no hesitation is asking Iowa to put up a big total...errr...bat first.

Bhishma returned to the line-up along with Gunmaster G9. And for the first time this season Bean Counter (Nirmal Srinivasan) made an appearance. Counter is a long-time stalwart who has been missing in action this season as he writes his dissertation (PhD). The casualty of this influx of big guns was the 12th man, Bob Loblaw, who still managed to sneak a foot into this game...read on to find out how.

Gunmaster and Energizer opened the attack and were quite fast and swinging the ball well. But a couple of overs each was all they got as Damian, in a policy he adopted all day, shunted his bowlers around in 2 over spells (barring one bowler, Bhishma, who bowled 6 overs on the trot). Doctor Kamikaze was the first to draw blood, inducing the opener to chase a wide ball. The resulting top edge was comfortably pouched by Little Boy behind the stumps. Soon after the other opener made the mistake of testing Thin Man's throwing ability, perishing to a brilliant throw from deep fine-leg by the underrated fielder. The third wicket fell when the next batsman pushed Bhishma's first ball tamely to short mid-off where Johnnie Walker held a sharp chance.

But all of this was just the appetizer. The main guy - Utpal Patel - was now at the crease. UP and Mihir took their time settling down, eschewing any risks in an attempt to consolidate as there was a long way to go in the 30-over match. UP did provide one sharp chance to the right of the keeper but trudged on after that without a hint of a chance for a long time.

There is very little love lost between Mihir and the NCC folks and, to his credit, he ignored all the banter and kept UP company. At the 15 over mark, the Bulls were 70 for 3 and setting themselves up for a fine charge at the end. After the drinks break, UP opened up his shoulders and began to find the fence, or rather, the untenanted area beyond the fence. For a batsman who looks fantastic when he bats in straight lines, UP uses the clog over cow corner as his stress-reliever shot. This day, he relieved a lot of stress with that shot.

As the temperatures rose, Mihir and UP upped the scoring rate and the fielding came under fire. Singles were being converted to two's and catches began to go down. Ozone turned to his trusted middle-over enforcer U-Turn and the young man delivered first ball. UP slogged towards mid-wicket but instead found it heading towards long-on where Chikna Slater was stationed for just such a mis-hit. But the unthinkable happened and Chikna dropped the catch. To celebrate this reprieve, UP then launched the biggest six I have ever seen in person, way, way, way over midwicket, so much so that Kamikaze stationed at the boundary would have signaled a six if HE had been the umpire (rather than being on the fence). Energizer dryly remarked to the umpire, "This is not fair. The batsman should be made to go and fetch the ball for hitting it so far and wasting our time."

In the next over, however, UP tested Chikna's fielding ability and this time the fellow held onto the ball, thereby saving himself from a fate worse than death. Chikna still got his fair share of ribbing, and lest you think he was done, you don't know NCC that well. The next batsman, Anand, sat back deep in his crease, content to push away the full-pitched balls but relishing the chance to thwack the shorter and good length ones. Runs flowed like...well...runs and another drop by Chikna at long-on, an easier one than the catch he took did not help matters.

With the total piling up, Ozone turned to Johnnie Walker, and three successive batsmen tested U-Turns ability to take high catches at long-on. Ca-ching, Ca-ching, Ca-ching, and just like that three guys walked back to the pavilion. U-Turn, apart from currently being the highest wicket-taking bowler in the entire league may also be the leading catcher, and deservedly so on both counts.

Not to be left out, in the final over of the innings, Bob Loblaw (in the game as a substitute), took a high, swirling catch at long-off looking straight up into the sun. The last ball of the innings was, however, smashed to the straight boundary to take the Iowa Bulls score to 203 for 9. An indication of the slow outfield (long grass) and bad bowling is the fact that the Bulls innings contained 10 sixes and just 3 fours.

And now for what is fast turning into the most eagerly-awaited part of these reports - the mid-match compendium of head-shaking facts and tid-bits of information (the last one is especially for you, Ozone).

• Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

• The raised reflective dots in the middle of highways are called Botts dots.

• You're more likely to get stung by a bee on a windy day than in any other weather.

• Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

• It's against the law to catch fish with your bare hands in Kansas.

• In Los Angeles, there are fewer people than there are automobiles.

• There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

• If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

Continuing with his theme of using pinch hitters, Ozone sent in Little Boy. Unfortunately, this did not work out well and Little Boy perished, losing his stumps in an attempt to slog a straight ball. Iowa began with two left-armers, a rarity in this league, and kept the newly promoted Chikna and Bean Counter quiet. Chikna, reeling from a fallow run at the crease, and itching to make amends for the two dropped catches, settled down into classic Chinka-mode, punching the ball on the off-side and driving and flicking on the leg. Finally looking like the Chikna we all know, he set about preparing a platform of formidable proportions. Counter did what he does best, sliding along in Chikna's slipstream, rotating the strike and running like a hare. He did have one moment of awe-inducing brilliance. A short-pitched ball by James climbed onto Bean' shoulder, and a picture perfect hook shot sent the ball one bounce over long-leg. After that Counter settled back into his single-double mode. The duo made steady progress, frustrating every attempt to buy a wicket. After the pacers were done, Iowa resorted to spin and this was more useful. The scoring rate slowed just a little bit and that induced the mistake. Chikna looked to clear long-on but hit the ball with the bottom of the bat. The fielder at long-on was Mihir, by far the best fielder on the Bulls squad and he showed Chikna how these high catches should be taken. As is often the case, a double-breakthrough was effected as Counter perished in the very next over, having done his job of keeping the scoring rate at a manageable rate while ensuring there was no early collapse. Thin Man entered with the score at 72 for 3 in 15 overs (almost identical to the Bulls score at a similar stage in their innings). His first scoring shot was a square-cut for six over point and that signalled the start of the attack. Kamikaze joined him at the other end and the two of them systematically dismantled everything that was thrown at them. Kamikaze, in a departure from his normal mode, attacked all around the wicket, while Thin Man was content to test the square fielders on both sides of the wicket. A boundary an over was maintained for the next few overs and with 12 balls to go and 16 runs required, NCC was in the driver's seat as they had 6 wickets in hand (Thin Man got out after a 80-odd run partnership with Kamikaze). Some frenzied running off the first 4 balls brought it down to 10 in 7. Kamikaze then launched one high in the gap between long-off and long-on. UP, fielding at long-on came running across, and to the horror of his teammates, missed the ball which bounced off his head and beyond the fence for a 6 (here's exclusive video footage of the missed catch, taken by a hidden camera). Kamikaze then got out going for the winning hit but 4 runs in 6 balls is too easy a task with 5 wickets in hand and NCC won with 3 balls to spare. Bhishma remained not out on a brilliant 1 (off 1 ball), while Energizer was there with him to enjoy the moment. Kamikaze scored 60 in 30 balls and also took 3 wickets to receive the man of the match award. With this win NCC maintained its position at the top of the CLIA ladder with just two games to go.